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I crack me up.

Climbing yesterday with Ted at an indoor gym, I grabbed a hold that wasn't bolted in tightly enough, and it spun and I fell. No problem, I climbed back up to it with a wrench, and tightened it back in place.

Ted took his turn, and when he got to that hold, I said, "Don't torque that hold, or it'll spin and throw you..." (I had to think of a good simile. Like what? Like a drunken cowboy? No. That'd be him, not the hold. Like a Brahma Bull? Good, but doesn't carry an intrinsic punch. There's always, like a two-bit-hooker. But a two-bit hooker wouldn't necessarily spin and throw you. Aha!) "...like an undercover police officer pretending to be a two-bit hooker."

He was disgusted. I laughed. It's stupid, I know. Guess you had to be there.

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